Does the internet know everything?

I was sitting here watching two black squirrels do a maypole dance around one of our Ginkgo trees

an oddity in nature [which you can read all about in Ginkgo: The Life Story of
The Oldest Tree on Earth] 
because it is a single species with no known living relatives; a living fossil that has been essentially unchanged for more than 200 million years …

gallery_ginkgo_biloba_philipp_franz_von_siebold
An early Western botanical illustration of Ginkgo biloba, published in Europe in 1835.

and wondered, “if they were rats would we have an infestation?”

I know that two black squirrels is not a lot, but how about the red squirrels in the backyard, or should I say living in the wall between the garage and the house.  And in the camping gear.

Now they are throwing toxic beezelnuts at us from our beezelnut tree, or should I say juglans nigra, because it sounds more evil than Black Walnut.  Yikes, maybe I should be muttering juglans cineria, which certainly sounds more evil than Butternut

trapbot_juglanscinereaButternut (Juglans cinerea)

and appears to be [or have been]  “Part of a Plaster recipe for Rattlesnake bites [which see.”  [Which see might indeed be worth the see.  This image comes from a rather intriguing looking piece entitled Late Trapper Medicines (ca. 1825-1850).]]

Be that as it may, they are both toxic to many plants, and worse, act as arsenals for rodents.

And now it is war, because they have literally eaten a hole in the deck.  Gnawed right through a solid, cedar deck plank.  For no reason.  It is open underneath, where they party and cavort much to Mouse’s dismay.  What are they building that required an opening in the roof?  A smoke house?

But back to the question of whether the internet actually knows everything, I decided to do some extensive research into the question of whether squirrels were just rats with cute tails.  Wouldn’t you know it, there is a Squirrel Board, where they agonize about the difference between a rat’s diet and a squirrel’s diet.  So they can feed them.  But again I digress.  Here is your answer, and it honestly took me at least 3 and 2/3 minutes:

“Evolution-wise” squirrels are as apt to be as similar to rats as we humans are to Howler monkies (Actually being from the same suborder, there’s more of a chance we are similar to Howler monkies than the squirrels are to rats). Only at the level of “Order” in the taxonomy of the two creatures can they be grouped together. From that point on, their evolutionary trees branch off and go in may different directions. At the risk of bringing on the wrath of TSB members once again, I submit we might ought to rethink some of our assumptions and give as much attention to the differences between the two animals as we have invested our hopes in their similarities. I’ve attached an abbreviated evolutionary chart (info derived from the Animal Diversity Web and the Tree of Life Web Project).

Of course, even this answer got kind of trashed, this being the internet that Know-it-Alls, as well as know-it-everythings, and he got grief for merely posting the abbreviated chart.

But there you have it.  A rat is just a squirrel’s Howler monkey, as they are disorderly from the point of order on.

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49 Responses to Does the internet know everything?

  1. EO says:

    For those who enjoy lists of trading rules (as I do) Barry Ritholtz has put out his latest collection. A veritable gold mine (pardon my french) of great reading. Stuff from Livermore, Baruch, and many more.

    Investing/Trading Rules, Aphorisms & Books (Summer 2014)

    I particulary like the list from Dennis Gartman. Gartman is regularly pilloried by the gold bugs because he has the gall to sometimes sell the stuff, instead of being a perpetual buyer. It should come as no surprise then that his list of trading rules fits quite neatly with my own, which I have learned the hard way over the many years, and which relies mainly on trend following catch-phrases such as “The trend is your friend”, “don’t fight the tape”, and “buy strength, sell weakness”. Gold cultists hate that stuff. It denies all their fundamental political dogma, which is all a mirage anyway. A Siren Song, as I’ve said before.

    DENNIS GARTMAN’S NOT-SO-SIMPLE RULES OF TRADING

  2. EO says:

    Well, that’s one way to nab “First!”

    Actually, just chiming in to say that I used to watch “Billy The Exterminator”. If you catch some old ones on late night cable, it’s a hoot. It came to mind because he once referred to squirrels as “criminal masterminds”. It seems apt, and has stuck with us and our daily lexicon.

    In the episode in question, I believe the little demons were chewing through some wires in an attic, which could have created a spark, or fire, right in proximity to a gas line. Not good. “Criminal Masterminds” indeed. I can see them hunkered down in their lair, surrounded by henchmen, plotting their next phase of world domination…

    And yes, I wish the little bastards would stop planting juglans cineria all over my yard. (grump)

  3. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    i do not have a ginkgo, but do have a black walnut, no black squirrels, but too many grays. so i can relate. i still say squirrels are rats. and my tomatoes are kept at a safe distance from “Wally” the walnut.

    http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/fletcher/staff/rbir/blackwalnutcompanions.html

  4. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    and this…

    and the video will not play, but the commercial leading it comes through in HD and HiFi.

    http://www.thestar.com/entertainment/2014/06/16/rob_ford_the_musical_audition_draws_dozens_of_lookalikes.html

  5. EO says:

    Scorching rally today among mid and small cap stocks, after a few months of underperformance versus the big caps. I wonder what it means?

    I’ll mow more lawn whilst I ponder….

  6. Dryocopus pileatus says:

  7. Pete Maravich says:

  8. Dryocopus pileatus says:

  9. Dude says:

    Good morning- slow start today after a late night. Rain has knocked satellite tv off so fired up the puter to check hourly forecast and see when it will end. Seems Freyr has made a terrible mistake by unleashing this downpour and not calling ahead to The Weather Channel as they are reporting zero percent chance all the way til noon when it becomes 5%.

    Pete, that Neil Young was so right for me. The scenery would have been good enough but the lyrics hit home today- a gal I just met and formed an instant bond with is moving to Wyoming as soon as her house sells. She’s the only person I can’t win at least sometimes against in rock-paper-scissors. It’s remarkable- we tie every time. And she has a small Milwaukee Brewers logo tattooed on the back of her neck. I told her once about some beer I liked but couldn’t get locally- she found some and brought it to me. What a sweetheart. Gonna miss her.

  10. Dryocopus pileatus says:

  11. EO says:

    Wow. Yellen lights another fire under stocks, which close at new highs, and those remaining market skeptics who were trying to hide out in VIX futures got monkeyhammered for a 12% loss. The punishment never ends.

  12. Dude says:

    Ever hear of these fellow Canadians Xty? I have this on vinyl from way back in the day. As the uploader said: “rare acid folk cover of the Beatles”

  13. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    song for EO. the punishment will end. it’s going to be a doozy too. but, like the trading tips above suggest, almost every one of them really, no one can predict when. if the economy was really doing as well as the stock market suggests, even my cats would be out working (at at above minimum wage). when your MA’s say to get out, i hope you are fast.

  14. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    and i consider what the Federal Reserve is doing to be revolting. and those ain’t no

    because what comes around, goes around.

  15. EO says:

    ” i hope you are fast.”

    Yeah, me too. 😕

  16. EO says:

    I can get out ahead of those HFT’s, right?

  17. EO says:

    Cullen Roche always does a great job of debunking the doomers.

    The Bankrupt Economics of David Brat

  18. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    meh. i am very pleased that Cantor is out. what an establishment pig. and public opinion (Bernaysian delusion) has turned away from the Randian philosophy, so Bratboy is no threat.

    do you like my new word?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Bernays

  19. EO says:

    Here’s a video of Dennis Gartman in 2009 explaining his #1 rule of trading. “Never add to a losing trade.” I wish I had heard this rule and taken it to heart years ago. The Missus and I would be retired by now. 😥

    http://www.kewego.com/video/iLyROoafJo27.html

  20. EO says:

    Puts the phrase “Keep on Stacking!” in a whole new light.

  21. xty says:

    No, I have never heard of those two Canadians, and I am impressed that you have that on vinyl. It is having a rebirth, and my twenty something son is all over albums now … our old technix turntable just left the house last month.

    And Good Morning. Having a lovely slow start to my day and trying not to stress …

  22. Dude says:

    w.o.d. suggestion

  23. xty says:

    Good one … I was clearly stumped. But first I am going outside to improve my mood. I am not able to guess at the etymology off the top of my blond head. Oh, wait … dim Latin do, dare? to give …but men?

  24. Dude says:

    Can’t go outside here ’til it stops raining- 7″ in the last 2 1/2 days with more coming. Should be good for the farmers as “rain makes grain”.

    When it does finally stop, I think a visit to retake this scene is in order, as it should have greater volume.

  25. xty says:

    I really love moss and greenery.

  26. EO says:

    I’m amazed my basement is still dry. Not a big fan of moss and greenery down there.

    Nice pop in the barbarous relic this morning. If it can close the week over 1290 I’ll have it back on a BUY.

  27. Dude says:

    Yeah, I was off too. Thought the mend part was related to amend.

    But thanks for reminding me of a favorite expression. Had a friend in college who, when asked by his family what his aspirations were, replied that he wanted to be an itinerant mendicant.

  28. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    off topic as usual. but i do still have a little fight in me, and want to keep hammering what will all be exposed in the coming years… how the PR world has infiltrated the internet, and especially message boards and blogs, and that many of the most convincing, opinionated, even aggressive posters are really just sock puppets. this article just reminded me of some things that may connect some dots for you guys. think Tea Party, Texas, Koch Bro’s, and various energy memes, and some very loud and aggressive voices from our common past. you can easily connect monikers to causes, not just those energy related, but it’s a big one, maybe the biggest. perhaps i should make a connect the dots puzzle. (connect fake persona to cause)

    http://kxan.com/2014/06/19/texas-gas-town-considers-banning-fracking/

    edit: not off topic after all after looking up the word mendacity. 🙂

  29. EO says:

    If you were looking for mendacity, then I think you are still missing the mark. It’s different than mendicity, and of a different root.

  30. Dryocopus pileatus says:

  31. EO says:

    Looks like no chance to dry out any time soon.

  32. xty says:

    Yikes, ain’t everyone a correct critic!

    men·dac·i·ty n. men·dac·i·ties n. pl.

    1. The condition of being mendacious; untruthfulness.
    2. A lie; a falsehood.

    [Late Latin, mendācitās, from Latin, mendāx, untruthful.]

    Although that seems a lame etymology .., albeit a different one.

  33. xty says:

    A mendacious mendicant!

  34. EO says:

    Is this the time to chime in that I still have just as many ounces as before, and these paper comex prices are all a lie, and you should measure your wealth in ounces not dollars, blah, blah, blah?

    Oh, wait, that was the reality avoidance script on the way down. Gotta dump all that gibberish now. Let me look in the dusty archives….(rustling papers)…here it is….pardon the tea stains…

    “TO DA MOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

  35. Dude says:

    [video] Gold busts out at CNBC

    http://video.cnbc.com/gallery/?video=3000285829&__source=yahoo|headline|quote|video|&par=yahoo

  36. Dude says:

    I like this gold too. Sorry, don’t have any moss pics.

  37. Dude says:

    Speaking of vinyl- does Angie have a turntable?

  38. EO says:

    A bad day for Scott Walker is a good day for Wisconsin.
    I’m heading back up thread to replay Walking on Sunshine!

  39. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    here is my idea for a new bumper sticker. and good morning everybody. now i will try to go back to bed.

  40. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    just so you guys don’t think i’m nuts, i’ll tell you something privately when i am ready. for now interpret this as commentary on present western society, the hypocrisy of the religious right, and the suicide of another disabled and unemployed army vet.

  41. Dude says:

    Another 4 1/4″ overnight. Averages are made from extremes- from polar vortex to rain like a tall cow pissin’ on a flat rock- enough to strangle a frog. Heard those two and many more the summer I was a cowboy, 1966.

    Sump pumps! Got me a fancy one with a battery powered backup pump in case the power goes out. A necessity when you face the reality of living in a valley.

  42. EO says:

    I can feel the animal spirits stirring among all current and former devotees of the miners. Yes, it looks like a breakout. Some quick easy money looks to be on offer. But I’m here to tell you…don’t. Just…don’t.

    PM mining is a terrible business, with inept and dishonest managements. Your pockets will be picked at every turn. If you only need one factoid as a complete indictment of the sector, one that will disqualify it from any sort of prudent investing forevermore, I submit the following chart. The entire history of GDX (the ETF for the major miners) vs GLD. This goes back 8 years, through good times and bad, and clearly demonstrates the awful performance of the mining sector. You think you are simply investing in gold, but with some extra leverage? No, you aren’t. You are investing in a completely different, and completely worthless animal.

    You can invest in gold. You might make money or you might not. But gold will never completely ruin you. With miners, on the other hand, complete ruin is inevitable. Mining is a destroyer of capital, not a creator. All mines eventually play out, and all mining companies eventually reach their final destination.

    Zero.

  43. EO says:

    How about the junior miners?

    NO. Even worse. They are like any other miner, only more so.

  44. EO says:

    In 2006, if you had told someone that in eight years gold would be nearly double, but miners would be down by a third, they would have said you were mad, or a shill for some evil cabal.

    Yes, that sort of mindset existed back then. I was there. There is nothing new under the sun.

  45. EO says:

    Let’s say there is a good property that is or will be a productive mine. Productive for whom?

    Taxing authorities will get their cut. Management salaries and freebie options take a huge cut. Vendors, for everything from haul trucks to post-it notes get their cut. Labor gets it’s cut, in the form of wages. Local interest groups get their cut in the form of power, water, school, and housing projects. Financiers, lenders, brokers, and newsletter pimps all get their cut.

    What do shareholders get? In the end, in the aggregate, nothing. Nothing but a played out mine, still saddled with reclamation costs and environmental problems.

    Not share holders. Just bag holders.

  46. Dude says:

    bought one too many miners

  47. Dude says:

    okay- time to be serious. That’s a real pic I took today in Baraboo. I had told you I was going to take waterfall pictures due to all the rain.

    So I need to make a pit stop and I see that they have donuts on sale, 4/$. two of those plus a chocolate milk was breakfast. Nearing my destination I saw this guy, turned around and went back and paid him the other two donuts for his picture. He seemed sincerely thankful. This worked on me and compassion reared it’s needful head. When I went back 2 hours later, he was still there. I pulled over, thinking I had a ten spot to give him, but alas, all I had was 20’s and 50’s (it was payday Wed- S.S. comes 3rd Wed every month) plus 6 one’s. So that’s what he got. What would you have done? I suppose if you live in the city you are inured to this type of thing. But he was the first I have encountered in several years. There but for the grace of god go I. (small g, nonbeliever, but what other phrase fits?).

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