World’s Worst Novel: Chapter Seven

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50 Responses to World’s Worst Novel: Chapter Seven

  1. xty says:

    I just changed cheerfully to readily, when Mickey accepts the coffee, and I got rid of the extra blank page. Just to let you (and I think it might just be you) know.

    And good morning. It is a spectacular dawn and morning here. Two days of heavy rain but it drains away and the garden is looking green and promising.

  2. Dude says:

    Ok but there’s still an extra “the” and the DEA link goes back to the movie.

    If we ever meet in person, I hope you are feeling vulnerable……….I need all the help I can get.

    Garden- had first peas of the season yesterday. Just read that 3/4 cup of legumes a day can help lower LDL.

  3. xty says:

    I have no idea what you are talking about, re the extra the and the bad link. You cannot imagine how many times I have re-read that and checked it! Nothing escapes the Dude, and thank goodness.

    There is no doubt that being useful and strong is attractive. We are but animals thinly clad.

    And my garden is calling me, after that gruelling re-PDFing and post fixing that just occurred.

    But first a wee cup of coffee.

    Oh, and those are my children playing on the beach when we stayed on a houseboat in Exuma.

  4. xty says:

    And good morning Pete. Your song is gone … play us another one, please.

    Congratulations to EO’s spawn, and I hope she enjoyed the pomp and ceremony. It is very special. And really, high school is a nightmare, and best seen through the rear view mirror.

    And good morning Woodpecker. Making it cool to love Jesus is revealing about group identity politics, to comment on your cool song. I saw Jesus Christ Superstar in England when I was 13 or 14, but my immediate close relative who shall remain nameless and I spent most of that month trying to get our hands on booze, as it was ridiculously easy to get served. My parents let the two of us, 15 and 13 or so, hang out at the local pub, which we eventually realised was full of lesbian bikers. But they were super nice, and we played pool and hung around generally.

  5. xty says:

    And I totally loved Joseph and the colourful coat when I was in Grade Six. A girl friend had the album and we listened to it over and over. I spent one year in a Christian school, Anglican I guess, and it was fascinating but weird. My parents sent me there because they were afraid I was not going to get into the school my two brothers got into, being so obviously backward. But I showed them! Got in and hated most minutes, and dropped out of my final year. At least I don’t get fundraising calls.

  6. EO says:

    This is the sort of heinous bullshit we are up against. War? Hell yes, it’s war. Bring it on, you neanderthal sonsabitchez.

    The 5 Craziest Planks in Draft Texas GOP Platform
    No science in schools, guns everywhere, church and state united! Egads!

  7. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    i have always thought i was born a little late. i was too young to appreciate the 70’s. but maybe because of that, i remember it better than it was. anyway, the art produced in that decade still is here, and i identify with it for some reason. i will even say it is better than what is produced now; all art in all of its mediums of expression.

    did you like my new painting? i think i am more creative come Friday when i tend to let myself imbibe all the way to excess! i actually had no regrets having posted it so late last night, upon my first clear revisit this morning. btw – i cannot believe you missed it, but i have figured out a way to post a picture with no text! nope, sorry, but you will have to offer up something in trade to get this information. maybe Angie could do some skin diving in the blue hole or something.

    another milestone today – two full weeks free of the puke puddle! and another apparent right winged hothead blogger is on probation. why is it that the moderates are content to keep their views mostly to themselves, and the extremists always have to shout? i’ll answer that – because they are conflicted, but are too weak to allow themselves to acknowledge their hypocrisies. so they therefore are insecure in their beliefs. and that is why i believe they need to be heard, and all others need be silenced. so shut up and listen (or leave).

    OK. that was my morning caffeine purge. nice weather here, so we are going to pick strawberries now.

    everybody have a great day! 🙂

  8. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    my answer to immigration reform is to give Texas back to Mexico. even when i was in SE Asia a few years ago, i was asked about this backward ass state. pretty sad when native Chinese speaking people have a revulsion to, and can pronounce Texas perfectly.
    i do not like to stereotype at all, but the problem is touched on in my above post. only the wing-nuts in Texas are being heard! STFU you right wing bastards – you are WRONG WRONG WRONG on just about everything! and go to fucking HELL!!!

    so that was the last cup expresso speaking. 😯

    see ya all later.

  9. Dryocopus pileatus says:
  10. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    i can even post a blank page! Angie is really going to have to perform. 😀 😀 😀

  11. Dude says:

    Sorry DP, Xty beat you on the blank page. I can vouch for it- refer to first post here.

  12. Dude says:

    Now after standing up for her, I feel free to post this about Canada. See guys, the craziness in Texas has been surrepticiously imported from north of the border.

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/06/13/1306663/-Stephen-Colbert-on-Ted-nbsp-Cruz-s-nbsp-citizenship#

  13. Dude says:

    Holy Mary Mother of Jesus! Donnie Osmond in a bath Towel!

  14. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    just great. now we are stuck with that bastard. geez, are you going to miss the guy up there Xty? got any more wing-nuts you want to export? how about we balance things out, and empty out Cuba’s prisons again – maybe we can balance out the wing-nut invasion from the north with some hardcore commies from the south.

    well, the blank page was not after all my greatest achievement anyway. i will post a picture of Hyla versicolor below this post, demonstrating my new technological achievement – textless posts.

  15. Dude says:

    And now news from the medical front. Father in law has taken a heart test and has two more scheduled. Asked him about getting to Madison, he said don’t worry they can do it right her in (our small) town. Said they’ve just gotten new machines that can do it here.

    Seems funny that he never had a problem until they got new machines to pay for.

  16. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    i have been foiled. i am getting an error message for duplicate post. apparently i can only post one blank page per blog thread.

    here’s the most common tree frog in Wisconsin. this picture is much better than the one on my phone. these guys are pretty small.

  17. Dude says:

    Just sitting here (obviously) after coming in from gardening and pulled two ticks off . Usually I can squish them w/ my thumbnail but these little bastards are way too (hungry?) quick so I put them in a cup of water and nuked ’em for two minutes. I hope you don’t think that’s cruel. Remember, I am just an animal, thinly clad.

    Edit: ya DP, small, but they sure are loud.

  18. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    they have kind of an ugly croak too. Xty needs to send us down a box of the Canadian ones – i’ve been told they sound just like Celine Dion.

    and what’s this Donnie Osmond thingy?

    gotta go. wife is pissed. wasting the weather…

  19. Dude says:

    Not a throw away- this is really good.

  20. Dude says:

    gogogojoseph

  21. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    yum.

  22. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    let me know if you want to expand your patch Dude. they will all be in bloom in a few days too – the flowers look like yellow roses.

  23. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    i’m going to let this guy live. my dill patch burst its banks, and now dill is growing all over the yard. so i suppose all that extra dill can be called my butterfly garden. this caterpillar turns into the black swallowtail butterfly.

  24. xty says:

    Good morning. I really don’t think we can be held accountable for Ted Cruz. All sorts of people try to have their babies born here, and we do pay for our healthcare with punitive income tax and endless pay for service other services. I remember a woman getting arrested for fraud because it showed she had had three babies in about a month, because she had been ‘lending’ her health card to American women. But imagine voluntarily renouncing your Canadian citizenship – I know lots of people have done it, including many musicians, but short of being fabulously wealthy, it seems a terrible idea, and something only the super rich would do. I assume Cruz is loaded. It is a pre-requisite of American politics, pretty much,.

    I sound grumpier than I am. Tea not yet kicked in.

  25. Dude says:

    Good morning- here’s the adult version that I took on 5-27.

  26. Dryocopus pileatus says:

  27. xty says:

    When you said adult version I was expecting something a little racier!

    Good morning. I have a brain full of sludge apparently, and will content myself with making an idiot of myself in the comments, and not in a full-blown post.

    It is Monday and that means everybody will be vaguely grumpier. I think we mistakenly think the past was all pastoral joy and I suspect that most every day sucked in the first say millennium and 3/4s.

    Bring out your dead turns out to be true, and according to a Sawbones episode, maybe this one, Sawbones: Corpse Theft and the Resurrection Men, they initially only collected bodies in London at night, but there were just too many and they had to start coming in the day as well.

  28. Pete Maravich says:

    Good morning. My power went out around 10:30 last night and magically returned at 12:30. Going to try something and see what happens. No promises.

  29. Pete Maravich says:

  30. Dude says:

    Dp- so you ate ’em all already? My guess at the blank page.

  31. EO says:

    Awesome article on Iraq, with which I agree 100%. The intro, and a link.

    Absolutely Nothing

    Tragically, all we’ve fought for in Iraq, all that 4,500 American lives were shed to gain, is on the cusp, potentially, of vanishing.
    – Mitt Romney, “Ideas Summit,” 6/13/2014

    All we fought for in Iraq.

    All we fought for in Iraq is on the cusp of vanishing.

    That’s what Mitt Romney says.

    We fought for. We fought for. We.

    Oh, so it’s we now, is it, Mitt?

    We.

    I must have missed you over there, but it was a busy place. We. The guy who helped set up “pro-draft” rallies and yet somehow managed to avoid service in Vietnam is upset about losing what “we” fought for? We.

    Yeah, fuck you, Mitt.

    And you’re all welcome to quote me on that.

  32. Dude says:

    Do they have Father’s Day in Canadia? Family cookout replete w/offspring and their offspring and their extended (4 legged) families. Do not underestimate the difficulty of getting 5 dogs in the same frame whilst a 2 y. o. is on your lap. All seemingly fun and games now, especially for the 3 labs, but trauma lurks unforeseen.

  33. Dude says:

    Buckets of blood and 4 stitches later. We can only surmise that she ran heedless and headlong into something, perhaps a fence. She is known to do such things- moments after the first picture she and another ran into grandson and his skidloader, I have been run into and nearly knocked down countless times when she plays with my lab. Could have been much worse but still very traumatic for daughter, that’s her only kid.

  34. Dude says:

    Great article

  35. EO says:

    Aack! The Cone of Shame! Poor puppy.

  36. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    that article nails it EO! i would post it over at Wingnut Dan’s but he is censoring “free speech” now, and also i already told him to fuck off, and promised i wouldn’t be back. maybe somebody reading this blog can still access that site, and it sure wouldn’t hurt to post it at TFMR too. i have reached my breaking point with the far right rhetoric. i have been middle of the road pretty much my whole life, and now i am being labeled a communist, progressive!?!?! (that’s bad how?), socialist, pinko, and way way worse by these pig fucker neanderthals.
    OK, rant done. smiles. 😀

    Dude – my white screen is my latest technological achievement. i have a 2nd way now to post textless. Xty is pretending she’s not curious though. hmmmn.

    oh – i have tried cooking my cactus pads, but this specific species of prickly pear (Opuntia humisfusa) doesn’t taste that good – or i am doing it wrong.

  37. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    just in case my rant seemed out of place – Trader Dan recently expressed some of the right wing rhetoric that EO’s article above counters. a few long time posters over there dared to post different opinions, yet all very tactfully. and just like these oh so tolerant wing-nuts do, he ripped their heads off. then a bunch of sycophants showed up, all praising Dan, and his so very moderate and open minded views, while Dan begins moderating the hell out of the comments. it was absolutely revolting to see the exact same crap happen that happened at TFMR – you know all the sucking up, and the host reveling in all the praise, yet only right wing viewpoints allowed, etc… there must be a mold for these wing-nut ego maniac bloggers. (well, i know there is.)

  38. EO says:

    Poor HuffPost. How long do you think it will take them to figure out that nobody in this country gives a shit about soccer?

    And, hey way to go DP. You’ve perfected the Blank Post. Could be a whole new thing for you. No pissing matches that way, lol. Sorry bud, couldn’t resist. 🙂

  39. Dude says:

    Perhaps you should try my stuff- opuntia macrorhiza. I guarantee it’s easier to cook than pronounce.

    Re: EO’s blogger- ya he really did a good job- he nailed it and then cemented over it.

    But I have a question- why would anyone enlist like he did after the Vietnam debacle? Why don’t we ever learn (like we all here seem t0 have)? We abolished the draft long ago- these dumb asses today volunteer to do the bidding of their puppet masters. Let us hope they can all see the veil cast aside and witness the raw underbelly of the beast and not be ashamed to admit and proclaim to all that they have been duped their entire lives.

    We need to start circulating again “what if they gave a war and nobody came”.

    I actually said after 9-11 that we should do nothing at all to retaliate- just ignore the bastards and continue our lives. Sure , they would undoubtedly try again once more, but what satisfaction would they get if we showed no reaction at all? It’s that bible bullshit that says an eye for an eye that perpetuates this ad infinitum. They always forget to turn the other cheek.

    I guess you could say that I am bellicosically against bellicosity. If that ain’t a word it should be.

  40. Dude says:

    …………and I like Talking Heads- I’m not alone- as an experiment I only typed in “psy” and it came up as the 8th choice.

  41. Dude says:

    Do 3:46 above and 2:26 here

  42. Dude says:

    ………or don’t

    How ’bout this 44?

  43. Pete Maravich says:

    way cool, thank you! 1st time I’ve seen/heard that one (and 44th comment). I was just sorta thinking about you..got the Mets-Cardinals game on in the background, and St Louis is tough again this year. Because of proximity I root for the Nats and the O’s. you getting to any games? All this talk of war reminded me of this song, which I remember as far back as 9th grade.

  44. Pete Maravich says:

  45. Pete Maravich says:

  46. Pete Maravich says:

  47. Pete Maravich says:

  48. xty says:

    I am late with a somewhat random post, but if you have ever hated on a red squirrel, you will understand. Those moose are something. We actually had a nature tape at the cottage that taught you how to sound, amongst other things, like a female moose peeing, so you could attract a bull moose and run away in a panic. You poured water, just so, down a paddle.

    I am going to move EO’s post to the new thread, because they are good links not to be lost, and Gartman was right about gold’s long slump, there is no denying.

    Oh, and poor puppy1

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