I am not sure where I picked this up from, or from where I picked this up
[Nope, still ending my phrase with a preposition, but what can you do, rules are to be learnt and then broken. I remember our Sensei explaining that one had to learn to do the katas and moves the way they were taught, and then, once we had mastered the lesson, we could make it our own. Kind of like learning to cook and then suddenly not needing a recipe.]
but one of the early life rules we stumbled upon that must occasionally be broken, like when being attacked by a swarm of bees, is to make sure when you make a big life change, or indeed, even some everyday choices, that you are moving towards something positive and not just running away from something negative.
It was probably that loathsomely correct Dr Stephen Covey, who’s 7 Habits of extremely annoying people included the “clean and green” idea that we used with our kids [who no longer perform chores, other than removing small green pieces of paper from our wallets, leaving them nice and clean] to pretty good effect. If, for example, you ask a 6 year old to clear the table, get them to clear the whole thing, and don’t start getting complicated, and rejecting items. The green comes from Dr Covey trying to get his teenage son to mow the lawn, and somehow the concept is eluding him, and finally Dr Covey points to a neighbour’s perfect lawn, and says, “Make it look like that, clean and green.” [I am paraphrasing, as we read the book a long time ago, and our habits have gotten a little dirty, like monks gardening.]
But he also pointed out that you can get lost in the small stuff and forget to plan for the stuff that really matters. He used a cool example, with a jar and sand representing the stuff we feel we have to do, everyday, and bigger rocks representing big things like relationships and travel. If you put the sand in first, you cannot jam in the rocks. But if you put in the rocks, you can pour the sand around them and it all fits in, ticket-boo.
Back to running from versus inching to, I remember a good friend from high school, and I use the term advisedly, who moved back and forth from Toronto to Vancouver, and it was always to get away from problems. But they seemed to follow her, and if she had only waded through Conrad’s Lord Jim, she would have seen the difficulty. As some clever fellow or gal explains at this convenient website,
We are confronted [in Conrad’s Lord Jim] with evidence of people’s questionable, bad, and just plain nuts behavior every day. Entire media empires have been built on people behaving shamefully (we’re looking at you, Real Housewives). And YouTube has made it so that no social faux pas or furious rant goes unnoticed.
So what does all this have to do with Lord Jim? Well, Joseph Conrad‘s novel is a meditation on shame, disillusionment, and what it means for the community and the individual when a disgraceful act is committed. Our 24-hour news cycle and live-blogging culture might make it harder for bad behavior to go unnoticed compared to times of yore, but the issues surrounding reputations, rumors, and secrets are nothing new. Jim may not have to combat viral videos and instant replay, but he’s subject to the age-old tendency to gossip and never let a scandal die out quietly.
But Jim’s behavior isn’t so much offensive as it is cowardly. It goes against established ideas of what “gentlemen” (or white British men of a certain social station) should be. Lord Jim doesn’t just ask us to think about the impact of bad behavior; it also asks us to consider why certain behavior is considered scandalous to begin with and what that can tell us about the society that’s doing the judging.
[Whoever wrote that gets a bit iffy with the white British men thing, since what the anti-hero of the novel does is abandon his crew mates during a shipwreck, hardly only an act of cowardice if you are a white British male. That is one of the reasons I left academia, the idea that anything that came from a white male was suspect, even presumably the Magna Carta.]
Now this is a kind of terrible example, as I am not suggesting running away from egregious acts of shameful behaviour. It is best to avoid committing those, and if you have then you had best fess up and start cleaning up the mess.
But if you can plant an oak tree now, then do, rather than lamenting all the unplanted oaks of the past. Easy to say and hard to do, I know. But it is a question that must be answered, are we running away or running to? And what if the goal is foggy? Then incremental change, always the best kind if possible, can still be implemented.
So have a wonderful Woden’s day, and don’t do anything he would, pretty much, or you might have some ‘splaining to do, and need a fairly good exit strategy, which is both a running away and a running to, and since I am running on, I shall make it my exit strategy too, and with a preposition finish up.
A meteorology professor stood before his Meteorology 101 class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty glass mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a jar of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open spaces between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar and of course the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous yes.
The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and then proceeded to pour the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the grains of sand. The students laughed.
“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things — your family, your partner, your health, your children, your friends, your favorite passions — things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
“The pebbles are the other things that matter, like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else — the small stuff.
“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. Play another 18.
“There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first — the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of beers.”
http://www.theweatherprediction.com/humor/life/
i know it is hard to handle this uncomfortable balmy weather. but that is no reason to let Xty’s latest literary composition languish unattended.
If you know what I mean:
Herr Grün versteht.
this thread is dead. one last shout. Dude – free fixins are good to go in the minibar.
I quite enjoyed this article, even though i really don’t run either from or to. And (ENTP) where i do go is unplanned.
I just received my 3rd MBTI book in the mail today from my ISFJ bro-in-law who is an MBTI instructor for U.S. Customs. “Gifts Differing” by Isabell Briggs Myers, (the lady who put the M and B in MBTI)
As a ‘T’hinker, i have really enjoyed how exacting of a science MBTI is, and have enjoyed learning how it works. The ‘F’eelers in my family (majority) show very little interest in it. But then once they see how knowing the type of self and others is beneficial for understanding and harmony, they really take to it.
So many conflicts or hard feelings arise when 1 type sees another type person behaving not according to their way of perceiving or acting in the situation.
Especially with Feelers. (I try not to commit any egregious acts of shameful behaviour, or even push the limits of our gracious host) aka Her Grace!
Good morning. Not sure what this says about my personality, but you need to explain again at least what I am, or how to interpret the percentages, because it just doesn’t stick in my head. You might as well tell me I am a Capricorn, which I seem to be. Feet firmly on the ground. My french horrorscope cup says I am “RESERVE, CHARMEUR, FIDELE, INDEPENDANT”. And that seems pretty accurate too, but it is a mug made in China that I got at the dollar store many years ago. How did they know?
I realise that lots of people use the tests apparently successfully, but I can’t imagine judging people like that. I am just not made out for large scale enterprises, I guess, where tests replace human contact, but you seem to find it helps in your family. But I am feeling a bit irritable this a.m. and maybe that is also covered in the test! Gifted testing was both accurate and inaccurate for our family, so I am on the fence about relying too heavily on tests.
I am sorry you have an irritable but (sic), perhaps a massage would help?
I just noticed that but bit before I saw your comment, and have to admit I had typed “I am just make out” instead of “I am just not made out” … perhaps Freud is trying to tell me something. He was a complete lunatic in many ways by the way, while I am stomping on everything. Obsessed with women’s noses, for one.
Except that it was my body and hence not so cute and bikini topped, when I went to the athletic therapist when I injured myself even more by ice-chopping and really could barely support any weight on my right leg, he totally massaged my butt and my gait is still pretty good months later.
I have managed to scare everyone off it would appear.
MBTI is not like horoscopes and such, or even about Judging people. Here’s my fav explanation-
Everybody is either right or left handed. So noticing which hand they prefer to use doesn’t judge them or have anything to do with what type of person they are. But whoever they are as a person, or whatever they choose to do in life, they will maintain that preference. let’s say Left-handed people are “L” types and right handed people are “R” types.
Some binary personality trait preferences are just like the L or R thing, and 4 of these separate binary preferences are what make up ones MBTI profile.
For example- Thinking vs Feeling (T/F) Everybody thinks, and everybody feels, (just like everybody has 2 hands) But one or the other is preferred by each individual when dealing with situations. Not always or exclusively, but in general, everybody is more coordinated and comfortable acting based on how they Feel about a situation, or Think about a situation.
Everybody is either an Extravert or an Intravert (E/I)
Everybody is either an Intuitive or a Sensor (N/S)
Everybody is either a Thinker or a Feeler (T/F)
Everybody is either a Perceiver or a Judger (P/J)
like both hands, we all can use either of these binary personality traits, but still “prefer” one over the other.
The 4 binary options means there are 16 different profile possibilities (types), that everyone fits into based on their preferences.
(just like L or R handed people all fit into one of 2 groups)
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How can 2 kids raised in the same house be so different?? They are different personality types.
The best part, for me anyway, has been mastering all of this to the point that i can tell the personality type (preferences) of other people. Now I can quit going up to people and trying to hand them something to their non-preferred hand… (so to speak) but that’s just me.
My ESFJ wife is never going to want to sit and have detailed objective discussions about how things work. Because the doesn’t want to talk to me? No. that’s not her thing. She’s a doer(S) and a feeler (F), she’s on the go all day long, helping people. She loves it. It would drive me crazy. but knowing how each other tick makes it all ok.
There is a lot more to it, and this is likely a boring ramble, but the whole thing is very cool imo. here’s a link to probably a lot better explanation- http://www.personalitypathways.com/
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Oh, and Xty, i think you are INFJ, (the most likely type to perceive all of this as too generic, and inhuman from what i’ve seen)
Well I’ll tell you how I feel about this. Given that Kneider did the same thing to Fleury, can we get over it being an accident? I saw him go into Price and it was blades up all the way. Dirty little play and if he wins the Stanley Cup I sure hope the victory whittles away at him like the Telltale Heart!
http://www.thestar.com/sports/hockey/2014/05/19/montreal_canadiens_goalie_carey_price_out_of_eastern_final_with_injury.html
this ain’t it, but good anyway. Woodpecker had me up all night shooting hoops, and I never missed. 🙂
Xty, your reaction to a reported sporting injury is shocking!!!
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And here i thought surely you would have read that injury report and started recalculating the odds of upcoming games as impacted by the statistics of the injured player!
No,… not really 😎
Go Habs
now i know why they are called the Habs…
http://proicehockey.about.com/od/history/f/canadiens_habs.htm
Oui, c’est les habitants.
Which some Quebecois think is an insult.
And just for DN, I found another test to take. INFJ as you said.
Bonsoir les amateurs de sport.
Ebay says my new password is “weak”. Yeah, well…yer ugly too. Pfft.
Finally, I can hack your account!
And the Rangers should have been expecting a brawl. Montreal is tired and mad.
try, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Woohoo!!!! INFJ 😎 (i can’t write, paint, finish projects, or find objects that are right in front of my face… but i can ‘type’ folks and rake in the chips at the No-Limit-Hold ’em table)
And i don’t know didly about hockey, will be going to NHL.com right now to see what all the fuss is about!!
if you have cable, it’s on NBCSN
It worked!
http://www.nhl.com/ice/series.htm?season=20132014&series=m
Hey Xty!! You filling in for DP on the Night Shift tonight??
And congrats on the win.
I found the game (per Pete’s instructions) but at the very end. But now i know where to watch the next one.
We WON !!!
Last Canadian team standing, and it has been a while since we had a team in the Stanley Cup finals, and I don’t like Vancouver so 2011 didn’t count. They have horrible jerseys for one thing. But the last Canadian team to actually win a Stanley Cup were the Canadians, in 1993. I had to look that up, and I had forgotten about Vancouver, but it just doesn’t seem right still, all the new teams from warm places. Florida Panthers? It is ice hockey for heaven’s sake. But the season generally kind of sucks, and then in the playoffs and olympics (sorry EO) you see great hockey. Until some moron with a penchant for destroying goalies takes out arguably the best player in hockey right now.
Sleep is eluding me, for a bunch of reasons, mostly annoying. But now I have a cup of tea and am resigned to enjoying dawn.
An OT win, some nice weather, and a lovely cup of tea should put a decent spin on the new day.
I get to spend much of it in the car, off to get the kid from school.
Tea working its magic. Nice to fetch kid from school. Is the year over? My house is suddenly filled with friends returning from university for the summer. Mikey’s friends I mean. I am working on having no friends, other than you guys, and am living vicariously much of the time.
And this coming Wednesday I am off to NFLD for a week, and that will cure all my ills, except maybe this friggin’ groin thing, which is the fly in my otherwise excellent ointment.
Yes, the year is over. Son and girlfriend each have one year to go. But strangely find themselves with nowhere to live for a week or so. Son had to be out of the campus dormitory a week ago, so went to gf’s house. Now gf’s lease ends, and they are without a place for about a week until they can move into their new place. So they, and all their stuff, will be here, in the interim.
A little sad that they are staying in Eau Claire this summer, and won’t be here much, but excited for them just the same. A happy little campus love nest, but good luck concentrating on their studies next year!
The kid got himself a summer job up there, with no nagging from us whatsoever! Wow.
Daughter is very growly of late. Advanced placement exams, graduation related things, final band concerts, marching band on Memorial Day. Just keep your distance from her claws and you’ll be alright.
I have a cup of tea waiting for her when she rises each morning, mostly to stay in her good graces. Two sugars, and an ice cube.
Just kidding really. She’s awesome.
Regarding our kids, my wife and I consider ourselves to be the luckiest sonsabitches on the planet. Neither one ever gave us a lick of trouble.
Our kids mostly too – no major problems, even middle son who finds life more challenging has been on a roll lately. And I too am turning a blind eye on a campus love nest, although I am about to visit the new digs. Sick to death of other people, very fond and it makes financial sense.
I too have greeted eldest and youngest with hot tea (occasionally coffee for Mikey) every morning to ensure smooth sailing. Middle, and this is so in character, always says no, and I stopped trying. How anyone faces the day without a beverage of some sort, preferably tea, I cannot imagine, although I have to witness it!
Tea might be the secret ingredient. But grumpy daughters when under pressure who are actually the best? High five!
I am very tired, and extremely green, and a little loopy:
Standing on a golf course
Dressed in P.V.C.
I chanced upon a Golf Girl
Selling cups of tea
She asked me did I want one
Asked me with a grin
For three pence you can buy one
Full right to the brim
So of course I had to have one
In fact I ordered three
So I could watch the Golf Girl
Could see she fancied me
And later on the golf course
After drinking tea
It started raining golf balls
And she protected me …
And because it really is an album, not just a collection of songs:
now for something different. check out the stand up bass Xty. this genre is called “punkabilly”.
i’m all over the map today. i have something to say, but don’t know how to say it. for now, i’ll just play another song.
Define Irony by Dagney Taggart
41 min 59 sec ago
yep. i’m a commie.
2 hours 16 min ago
i have adjusted my attitude and will sign off for the night on a high note.