World’s Worst Novel: Chapters One and Two

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94 Responses to World’s Worst Novel: Chapters One and Two

  1. Pete Maravich says:

  2. xty says:

    Good morning! The sun is shining, my belly is somewhat better, if my leg and side are disappointingly painful, the lilies and tulips and forsythia seem to have forgiven the winter, and I refuse to let the grinder grind me. The ghastly flu is passing as well.

    I cannot find the song I am looking for on youtube, and would just like to pointlessly rail against the morons who think they will get richer and more popular by denying their fans and potential fans access to their music. I am going to see if I can get an audio file to post here. Hmmn seems tricky. I suppose I could upload it to youtube myself, but I am not sure about the legality of all that.

  3. xty says:

    Oh, never mind, here it is after all:

  4. Pete Maravich says:

    we have mid to high 80’s for the next 5-7 days and no humidity yet, perfect for frolocking and daydreams. you people up north are tough, i would struggle under your climate.

  5. Pete Maravich says:

  6. EO says:

    jazzy banjo.

    We’re not so tough, Pete. It’s the climate that makes us so, out of necessity. What choice is there? Get tough, or move. If you came here, you’d be fine, in a generation or two. 😯

    and fwiw, 80 degrees expected here today. Another few weeks and we’ll be complaining about the heat. 😕

  7. xty says:

    I encountered my first stinging insect [and this happened last year too!] when a wasp casually strolled across the coffee table in the basement. It was dispatched [which last year only happened after I was stung, to which injury Mikey casually added the insult, in that he had seen a wasp the day before, but hadn’t mentioned it] and the next day, another one appeared on the floor down there. No idea where they come from, and we have never seen another wasp in the basement.

    And yesterday something buzzed me aggressively when I was on the back deck, blinded by the sunshine. Soon it will be very humid, something I am almost used to. And then there will be blackflies and mosquitos.

    So yes, I had the thought of careful what you wish for too! But as I was sitting in my full length down coat [which I loathe – it came from LLBean and it does not fit my self image] the other morning, I also felt the horror of another approaching winter.

    It is not apparently human nature to enjoy the now … but today does look like a day when I might get to enjoy now a bit, although sad to say I do not think I will be going far afield other than in my mind.

  8. Pete Maravich says:

    EO, dust off your banjo and serenade your popcorn field, :mrgreen: will help.

  9. Pete Maravich says:

  10. xty says:

    Speaking of living in a dream, this was actually the view from our balcony when we got to stay on Harbour Island for a spoiled week, back when life was simpler:

  11. xty says:

    I liked the GQ article? And I laughed aloud about the tourniquet for his bleeding ear drums ?… being a bit of a chatterbox myself …?

    But I have to quibble with his final witticism, because even without a question mark, I don’t think [or at least I hope] that most women want to hear that sentence with or without a question mark. It isn’t exactly the compliment men might think it is … now if a woman were to say it, I don’t think the man would give a rat’s ass about the punctuation!

  12. xty says:

    A bit of a one hit band, but this song is pretty good

  13. Pete Maravich says:

    that actually happened to me once, a long time ago (when i was cute), i was moving into an apartment with my girlfriend and this girl that was right next door, just dropped it on me, i was staggered and flattered but stayed true. yes my friends, the god’s are cruel and had one at my expense. and i’ve always wished that this song was longer.

  14. Pete Maravich says:

  15. Dude Stacker says:

    I would never consider boinking a female that spoke thus crassly. I prefer the classier approach, like “You look like Robert Redford”. That’s direct enough for me, actually happened and we consummated- although not because I was cute like Pete, but because she had her beer goggles on.

  16. EO says:

    “when I was cute”

    Love it.

  17. xty says:

    I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger …

  18. Pete Maravich says:

  19. Dude Stacker says:

    ………..and he’s got a song for Angie.

  20. Dude Stacker says:

    This is what Angie looked like 10 years ago.

  21. xty says:

    But just maybe she is still cute. I haven’t been age specific yet. But I gather that she should dance naked at some point, if she hasn’t already when hanging up her wet bikini.

    You guys really are sluts, even if Pete was a loyal cute one.

  22. xty says:

    We did rent houseboats in Exuma, and it was a rather magical experience. Here is the office of the company that rented the boats:

  23. xty says:

    And from a little further away:

  24. xty says:

    At anchor:

  25. Pete Maravich says:

    this island stuff is killing me. St Martin was the last place that i visited, and i didn’t want to leave. i befriended a local named Jack, even though we were adamantly advised not to do so, and we shared some local leaf. he hadn’t been in the ocean for something like 12 yrs., because of a previous encounter with a barracuda, but i was able to persuade him to return. it was a fast and magical friendship. i have a picture as proof, even though i don’t remember my sister taking it. :mrgreen: ,fostering international relations.

  26. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    this is what i look like right now. and i’m even more sensitive. try to keep it in your pants Xty.

  27. Pete Maravich says:

    Woodpecker, you really haven’t aged well my friend, and i hope your groupies have some of those beer goggles that Dude scored with.

  28. EO says:

    I can’t speak for DP, but I don’t need to fool anybody anymore, except that lady that sleeps next to me every night. So far, so good.

  29. EO says:

    Oh crap, we need a tune.

    Van “just like that”

  30. Dude Stacker says:

    A simple statement- I have fun here- love you guys.

  31. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    :mrgreen:

  32. EO says:

    Awe…Dude…you big softee you.

    Ditto.

  33. EO says:

    jus’ fer da helluvit. Greatest western ever.

  34. EO says:

    OK, now I’m done

  35. Pete Maravich says:

    i have a question. i have the hockey match on, which i don’t often watch, and early in the 2nd period there was a loose stick on the ice and it was just left there during play. is that just normal? i didn’t even see who it belonged to, but it was obviously in the way.

  36. EO says:

    I think there is a rule, where if it is cracked or something, which is usually the case, you can’t touch the thing. Treat it like it is radioactive. Don’t want peoply skating around with sharp, jagged, broken sticks. Also, the guy who it belonged to, is probably long since off the ice, so there’s another reason why nobody picks it up. About the best they do is accidently push it out of the way from their own goaltender, or accidently into the crease of the other goaltender. :mrgreen:

    Xty, being canadian, and born with innate knowledge of these things from the womb, probably has a better answer.

  37. EO says:

    peoply??

    Sometimes I crack myself up. Though I AM easily entertained.

    That trait will serve me well into my old age.

  38. EO says:

    IN fact, if it’s your stick, and it’s cracked, I think you are required to drop it immediately.

  39. Pete Maravich says:

    Pack just drafted some dude named, HaHa. really, no shit.

  40. Dude Stacker says:

    Anyguy (explanation forthcoming) feel a little homophobic after watching Goodell?
    Ok, now about anyguy- I couldn’t use anybody as that would include Xty, and she was not part of my target audience. I refer to my father in law who speaks with the drawl and idioms of the South. Once when describing an individual with a unique ability, he said “onlybody I ever knowed could do such a thing.”

  41. Pete Maravich says:

    Dude, fwiw, i caught a clip recently where Ozzie Guillen picked the Brewers to win the World Series this year.

  42. Dude Stacker says:

    That, my friend, would be SWEET. But expensive- tickets, parking, gas, snacks and beer, fan merchandise, and a couple of hotels after a night game.

  43. xty says:

    Good Morning. Indeed, the answer is the stick becomes radioactive.

    If your stick is broken and you are holding it, it becomes a weapon. I think it is even a game misconduct, possibly. And for some reason the refs can’t touch it either until there is a whistle. But I think the guy (or gal) who breaks it just gets off the ice, and someone else with a stick gets on, so you rarely see someone continuing to play without their stick, but it can happen and is entertaining. We had a kid get a penalty for picking up his stick, in a fairly intense for us house league ‘b’ people tournament situation, and I remember it all too clearly. The kid was so upset because he was being helpful and thought it wasn’t safe to leave his stick in the way … but it turned out rules are rules and refs are refs, even if you are 10.

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