Has anyone mentioned a hip replacement?

I still remember the first time I was ‘ma’am’ed, and it stings, I mean stung.  Here was I thinking I was pretty hot stuff, albeit married, as I was putting gas in our Mazda 626, which kind of dates the whole appalling incident.  But it was when I paid, and got a “Thank you, ma’am,” that I realised that my salad days were over, and the joys of responsibility were about to take over.  But at least my body worked.  Mostly.

The introduction to what were supposed to be my halcyon days [now just using that word because I had to look it up and had it all wrong – see word of the day – and it gives me an excuse to post a picture of this bird

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which I think is a king fisher, that we saw on our trip back from Newfoundland a few years back] has been a little rough.  And while I have stoically [says you, ed.] weaved my painful way through the last eight years, I didn’t really enjoy hearing the young, handsome, therapist, much my junior but somehow with wife and two children, utter those fateful words, ‘hip replacement’.

Now not to quibble with the gods above, but how in hades can I expect to end up in less pain once I am the bionic woman, when I have been plagued for 5 decades by a simple hernia operation that has now destroyed my gait to the point my hip won’t play ball and socket anymore?  But I digress.  Those were words, only words.  And what he actually has on offer is a magic laying on of hands.

So you are asking yourself, how could Xty, a cynical hard-nosed evidenced-based gal, who believes fully in Western interventionist medicine and the triumph of technology in our wondrous world, be talking of the laying on of hands and not be smirking?  Anecdote, of course, anecdote.  But in this case the anecdote happened to us, so it isn’t really an anecdote.  It could be an anomaly, but it is a very science based anomaly if so, and relates very directly to cooking.

Many years back, but well into my ma’am days, our middle son had to be picked up from school because he could no longer stand or walk.  He just fell over in gym class [phys ed for you yanks, I believe] and his right leg felt like it was on fire.  Initially, his leg looked okay, basically, although the skin was a little pink.  We were sent home from emergency twice over the next two days, although I did tell them I would be back.  When they asked how I knew that, I explained that my son couldn’t walk.  First trip they suggested Advil.  Second trip codeine.  Like a mini-version of my saga, but after a trip to the paediatrician got us a ticket past triage and into the hospital proper, we entered a different world.  Long story short [too late, ed.], after being admitted he fell under the care of Jesus, I mean a physio-therapist who was also a doctor (some fancy-shamancy field with new name) who fixed the leg by holding it nicely and talking to our son in the meantime.  Two half hour visits over two days, and a little homework for our son, who had to rub his foot with a rough facecloth.  Good to go, and never had a problem again.

The technical explanation lies in the outer skin of your muscles, the fascia, which seems to have different names the deeper into the muscle fibre you go, becoming fasciculus or some such when it is around a bundle of muscle fibres, and then myofibril once around a single strand.

Now if you have ever prepared a leg of lamb for roasting, or failed to do so, you will know that this is all about the ‘silver skin’ that you must remove from meat before cooking as it is basically inedible, but more importantly curls the meat as it tightens when cooked and never releases.

So our son had cooked his leg, essentially.  And with humans even the myofibril can tighten and not let go after even a relatively small trauma, in this case a knee into the boards in hockey the weekend before, not even enough to get off the ice, was possibly the culprit.  And while I am grossing you out, here is a picture of his feet:

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I still cannot believe how far his foot was able to shrink!  Sous-vide!

Fast forward to my exciting adventures, and the excellent theory is that regardless of what else might need fixing, some of the ancillary trauma to my tissues from too many operations in the same area could be ameliorated.  There is a certain delightful irony, for me, in that this potentially very helpful course of treatment is of course not covered by our universal health care system, nor by private insurance (which we don’t have anyway).

These modern faith healers have been extremely well trained in anatomy, and understand the process they are hoping to tap into, but there can be no doubt that not everyone could do it.  He is warm, for one.  We talked about auras, and agreed it was cosmic nonsense that was completely true, and that he seemed to have a very calm one that he could transmit through his hands, call it whatever you want.

But that science and mysticism should “meat”, and over my sore side, is much to be desired.  I always prefer my cuts on the rare side, and perhaps my tender loin can become tender once again, as this is getting a little over done!

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20 Responses to Has anyone mentioned a hip replacement?

  1. xty says:

    Speaking of poetry (re GAX which I have not actually had the privilege of losing money by owning), hubby bumped into this long list of mostly quite funny, if particular, jokes, which includes this gem:

    A friend who’s in liquor production,
    Has a still of astounding construction,
    The alcohol boils,
    Through old magnet coils,
    He says that it’s proof by induction.

    Scientists tell us their favourite jokes

  2. Dude Stacker says:

    Oh dear me- a hip replacement? Not covered ? Please explain- is pain a necessary of your single payer system? I have two friends who have undergone same, one a woman about your age. I can tell you that the just-after process is rougher than before the procedure and weeks pass before amelioration. Then finally, hopefully, you will be much better.
    I know I will probably require at least one knee to be replaced and in all my acquaintances’ experience of same, I know that if I have good inexpensive Medicare supplement insurance, I won’t even see a bill.
    Having cooked lamb and had plantar fasciitis I understand completely.
    Looking above to maybe find a clue as to how to spell fasciitis, I realized that you used ameliorate before me but I’m pretty sure I would have used that word “still” w/o your subconscious “hangover”. Sorry to sound “corny”.

  3. EO says:

    My Mom loves her new hip. But be advised that it was a “re-do”, i.e. the second time around on the same hip, and therein lies a tale.

    Long story short (in plenty of time), when the doc explained to us what went wrong with the first one, any idiot could have seen that it was never going to work and why in the hell would they have done it that way in the first place? But I digress…

  4. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    this video may be informative, even beneficial to you Xty.

  5. xty says:

    A hip replacement will be covered if and when I get to see an actual doctor who suggests same. The fellow I saw is an ‘athletic therapist’. He told me he did a four year undergrad and then three years of college – but not med school. Some forms of physio can be covered, depending on who sends you – hubby got six weeks free after being referred by a specialist. It is all crazy. I think I could get 6 massages a year somehow if my doctor prescribed them – but they watch the doctors’ habits like mad, so they are hesitant to prescribe anything that could be abused.

    We have a friend who is about to have the same hip done for a fourth time because the first one got infected – a nightmare of pain and trauma. I hope I am miles away from such a drastic solution, but I really have walked off gait for 8 years at least now – I am kind of surprised my left hip isn’t complaining!

    But at least this nice fellow is going to try to smooth out my other strange lumps and bumps. I really do seem to have accumulated some fairly persistent scar tissue and I am going to try very hard to absorb his belief that he can straighten me out, somewhat, while the interventionist system grinds its slow wheels. At least my doctor got his secretary to try to find out how long the waiting list is to get back in to see a doctor whose care I was under!!!!! just a few years ago.

    Our single payer system means the government pays the doctors, so they are the doctors’ customer and doctors seek to satisfy their pay-masters. For you it is the insurance companies that pay the doctors, so the doctors answer to the insurance companies. And then of course you layer in big pharma with all their perquisites to dispense, and both systems flail about in corruption and waste while the patient stands around befuddled and broke under both schemes.

    But Good Morning.

  6. EO says:

    “The Onion” chimes in. Warning: Satire Ahead

    Nation Recalls Simpler Time When Health Care System Was Broken Beyond Repair

    And…Good Morning!

  7. EO says:

    OK, that link went whack. Second try.

  8. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    you wimps. thought for sure i’d get some flack for that video. it makes a nightmare of logic, but it does introduce some new ideas that might have some merit. i have found the New Age ideas are largely another form of religion. faith plays a major role. anyway, most of these ideas are unprovable (by Scientific method) anyway at this point, so whatcha gonna do? i suggest that one avoids the hows and whys, and just look at the evidence.

  9. Dryocopus pileatus says:

  10. Dude Stacker says:

    I don’t take kindly to being called a wimp so I watched the whole video. I have never been interested in watching a video of that length before but I was for the most part rivetted to my chair. I think they could have made it into an hour, though.
    I have personal experience of thought travel over great distance between my mother and myself so I brought along very little skepticism. In the video you see how prayer actually can work in some instances, how acupuncture can work, and how simply positive thoughts can keep you healthy as well as altering the force field or flow of energy can do the same.
    The biggest takeaway for me was the concept that memory does not reside in any one part of the brain, as proven by experiments with rats. As posited in the video, it may not even reside in the brain at all, but exist to be accessed from the field around us, the cloud, as in computing, so to speak. Might shed a new light on these memory freaks in the video below, but only if scientists stop looking through a microscope for the answer.

  11. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    i was one of those academically trained in the scientific method. but all along i understood that anything not testable by the scientific method could not be proved, but just as importantly, could not be disproved. often times those formally trained in science, and especially those in the field of medicine don’t make that distinction. a healthy skepticism is good, but arrogance is not.

    i continue trying over time to understand the cutting edge physics – maybe if i keep reading the same stuff over again, i will finally be able to conceptualize the latest. my problem with the video is that they are trying to explain (or perhaps only hint) some of the phenomena using newly discovered stuff that even the physicists don’t fully understand yet. to the layman, it simply becomes a matter of faith. i think they would be better off just presenting evidence and let the viewer reach their own conclusion. the way they presented the material is what gets labeled pseudoscience by definition.

    anyway, my overall point of view on on so many things is becoming less skeptical the older i get. i also will add that my own total medical care experience in the USA has averaged somewhere between poor and wretched. this was even before ObamaCare. EO’s Onion article nails it – and everyone’s worst fears.

  12. Pete Maravich says:

    good morning all.

  13. Pete Maravich says:

  14. Dude Stacker says:

    Listening to this while I research propane cos. There has to be some profit there when I paid $1.39/gal in Aug and it’s $2.52 now and rising. My geothermal heating and cooling system needs assistance when temps drop into the teens and below. Been needin’ lotta damn assistance lately.

  15. Dude Stacker says:

    Ah yes, Mac Rebennack. Trippy but true- the title of your song of the day came to me out of the blue a day or two ago as one I should revisit- and here it is!? Always liked the next one. In my working life I shared an office with another guy and we called it “Refried Confusion”. I wanted to call it the “Laramide Orogeny”, as it felt like we were sitting on enough potential pressure to build a mountain range, but alas, that was way too esoteric for him.

  16. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    Good Morning to you both Bob, and the same to you Tony.

  17. Dude Stacker says:

    Heard this in the bank this morning, guess muzak ain’t all bad.

  18. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    it’s too cold to go to the bank. i’d rather sit and Dudel. :mrgreen:

  19. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    working my way through the music as i take care of things around the house. i am thinking we are quantumly entangled, or something. all i know is that i am running out of motivation quickly, and now find myself drinking wine. hey, don’t even start. i’m not going frou-frou on you guys. it’s just too cold to go get beer, so i’m drinking some of my wife’s wine. besides, i’m drinking it right out of the bottle. 🙂

  20. Dryocopus pileatus says:

    Yesterday, 3 judges dismantled the open Internet by deciding that big companies should be able to determine what we see online.

    They struck down “Net Neutrality” – the principle that no corporation or state authority can censor, slow down, block, or privilege certain content on the web. It’s the basis for what has made the Internet a place for creativity, free speech, and innovation.

    Without Net Neutrality, the very startups that make the Internet a force of innovation will be throttled – unable to compete with incumbent businesses that can pay to provide their access faster than any startup could.

    Carriers can now charge content providers to make sure their content works well – something that privileges companies already dominating the market at the expense of the startups that have made the Internet great. Facebook or Google might be able to afford preferential treatment – but what about the startup that otherwise could replace them?

    It’s incredibly insidious, and it threatens to take away the level playing field that’s made the Internet such an incredible boon for society.

    The FCC, however, has the power to protect Net Neutrality – if they classify broadband as a communications service, something we all know it is with all the time we spend communicating with friends and loved ones via e-mail and social media, they’ll have the power to reinstate Net Neutrality rules.

    PETITION TO THE FCC: We urge you to assert your authority and restore your Net Neutrality rules now!

    We’ve fought to save Net Neutrality before, and we’re going to save it this time, too. Together we will protect the Internet.

    http://www.demandprogress.org/blog/

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